Musetta's Dance
by brokenbohemian
Summary: Roger had loved Maureen Johnson, so much that at times it hurt more than his withdrawal from heroin. He loved her without hesitation and with all of his being, risking every important relationship that he ever had to be with her.


**Musetta's Dance**

There was only one word that Roger could think of to describe Maureen Johnson; perfect, simply fucking perfect.

Mark and Maureen's relationship was common knowledge to all of the bohemians in the East Village, but Maureen and Roger had a secret. A secret that was only known by four people; two of which were too hurt to talk about it, one that convinced himself that it was just all a big mistake, and one that had killed herself, partly out of desperation and partly because of a heart that was broken beyond repair.

Roger had been with many women and he had certainly had his fair share of relationships. He had let many women freely claim his body, countless times, without a second thought to it. However, if you asked how people he had given his heart to, Roger would look you square in the eye and say with all of the conviction and certainty that he had, "One."

Roger had loved Maureen Johnson, so much that at times it hurt more than his withdrawal from heroin. He loved her without hesitation and with all of his being, risking every important relationship that he ever had to be with her.

Roger was not dumb by any means; he knew that he and Maureen could never be, it simply was not plausible. Even before Roger was diagnosed with HIV, they seemed too different to actually make it work for any substantial amount of time. She was a free spirit; he was introverted, rooted in one spot and focused on one thing: music. When he wanted to stay in, she wanted to go out; when she wanted to stay in, he wanted to go out. A push-pull relationship rarely compromised on anything.

However many odds had been stacked against it, Roger and Maureen had made it work for three beautiful years. To say those years had been amazing would be an understatement. Neither Roger nor Maureen could think of words to do those years adequate justice, and to properly describe the joy and completion they had felt when they were together. Everything was perfect, and then one day it was over, without a fight or tears, they simply parted ways, never to speak of what they had or how much they had meant to each other ever again.

Sometimes when no one was in the loft Roger would go out, sit on fire escape, and wrap his arms around his legs as he sat in silence and let the wind whip around him. He often would think of Maureen at these times, because to him she was like the wind, uninhibited and untamable. He felt the closest to her during these times, that instead of the wind engulfing him, it was her presence silently telling him that she loves him and that even though she wasn't here in body, she was here in spirit.

_**Flashback, March 25, 1987 **_

_Maureen Johnson loved the early mornings, of course its not like she would admit that out loud to anyone. The drama queen was notorious for sleeping until late in the afternoon, and she could not have her reputation ruined by someone finding out. Usually she would get up around six in the morning, before anyone in the loft had even stirred, sit on the very same table she was on right now, and munch on a bowl of Captain Crunch. Then as soon as she was done with her cereal, she would hop off the metal table, take one last wistful look out the window, and go back to bed before anyone knew she was missing. _

_The only one who knew of her secret habit was her former boyfriend, and current secret lover, Roger. He had caught her in the act 6 months after they started dating and relentlessly teased her about it in private ever since. _

_This morning in April of 87' started out like every other day for Maureen, eating cereal and listening to the early morning activity that was going on down below. Little did Maureen realize was that today would be the beginning of the end of her and Roger. _

_Maureen sat quietly on top of the metal table in the loft, swiftly swinging her legs back and forth, as she hummed "Welcome to the Jungle" softly in her head and munched on a bowl of captain crunch, as she watched the sun rise and tower over the buildings of Alphabet City, and their sleeping inhabitants. Maureen had concluded that today was going to be a fabulous day for her and Roger. Both Mark and April were out of town, leaving her and Roger free to be together today without any distractions. _

_It's not that Maureen didn't care for Mark, he was her oldest friend, she could even say that she loved him in a sense, but the love that she had for Mark didn't' even hold a candle for the love she felt for Roger. Maureen wasn't stupid, no matter how dumb she played, and she knew that no matter how perfect she and Roger were for one another, no matter how in-love they were, it would never work out. They proved this theory when they broke up for the first time over a year ago. So, Maureen settled, and began trying to convince herself to love the one person that would never break her heart. She started a relationship for the one person she knew loved her all his life, the one that would never leave her and the one that could never possibly break her heart. Maureen swallowed her pride and hurt, and sacrificed her happiness for that of her friend's. She thought that maybe, since Mark would be happy, that would make her happy and eventually she would learn to love him the way she loved Roger. _

_Maureen had been so distracted by thinking about her whole situation with Roger that she didn't hear the foots steps lazily approaching her from behind. Only when a pair of strong, bracelet adorned arms wrapped around her did she realize that Roger had woken up. Maureen lazily smirked and giggled softly as she could feel Roger's breath tickle the side of her neck as he nuzzled his nose into her mass of burgundy curls. _

"_Who would have thought," Roger whispered in her ear as he moved her mass of curls away from her neck, "That Maureen Johnson even __**knew**__ what 6 a.m. was?" Roger whispered teasingly as he bit down softly on her lobe. _

_Maureen let out a guttural laugh before responding, "You did silly, and that's why you're here," She replied as she turned her head so that she was able to stare up into Roger's amazing eyes that stared down teasingly at her. Maureen could not deny and neither could everyone else, Roger Davis had amazing eyes. They were the perfect shade of green that complemented his light blonde locks perfectly. What Maureen loved the most about them was when he looked at her his eyes would turn this amazing shade of green, so dark that she swore it was laced with black. No one else had ever seen that shade of green, not even April, for his eyes only darkened when his overwhelming lust for her was apparent as he looked down at her and brushed a curl out of her face as they made love. _

_Sometimes when Roger was feeling adventurous enough he too would get up at 6:00, lay still in bed for a few moments, and then saunter into the kitchen to catch Maureen in the middle of her early morning ritual. Usually if he wasn't too tired, or hung over from the night before he would join her for her morning ritual and sit on top of the metal counter with her while he stole some of her captain crunch when she wasn't looking. After that they would just sit on the table quietly so as not to wake up the rest of the loft, while ever so often holding hands or stealing kisses from one another. Sometimes, if Maureen was really lucky, she would catch Roger in a good mood and get him to take a walk around Thompson Square Park with her. It wasn't often that he would do this but this made the times that he did concede so much more special for Maureen. They would walk around the park idly holding hands and making comments about the few other stragglers that dared to be up at that hour. As they walked Roger would pull her close and wrap an arm around her shoulder while he ever so often dropped kisses onto her temple. They rarely talked for fear of ruining the magic they experienced during those precious few hours. These mornings passed far too quickly for both Roger and Maureen, and before they knew it they were both bad in bed with their significant others, laying awake, unable to sleep as they thought about the one they loved lying in the other room with someone else. _

"_Well I had a thought," Roger started as Maureen turned to face him, sitting Indian stile on the table. _

"_Wow Roger Davis has a thought, I'm intrigued," She giggled as Roger's eyebrows furrowed and he gave her a warning glare before continuing. _

"_Well," Roger started, letting the word roll of his tongue slowly as he moved his hands softly up Maureen's shoulders, "I figured that since Mark and April won't be back until tomorrow, we could spend the day together, just you and me, doing __**whatever**__ we want, no interruptions." Roger finished as he pecked her tenderly on the lips before pulling back and looking hopefully into her eyes. _

_Maureen just smiled brightly with her eyes as she fought to suppress a grin as she pulled Roger close and kissed him with all of the passion that she could muster. "Lead the way Mr. Davis," Maureen whispered as she allowed herself to be led into Roger's bedroom by her all too willing lover. _


End file.
